.. I need help. I need you to help me. I... ," the patient paused again, searching for words. "I'm in this room." Right, the room, got it," said the voice, losing patience. "Look, Debbie, or whoever you are, I have no idea why you think this kind of pain-in-the-ass is funny, okay? So I'm hanging up now. Goodb--" But I'm [naked]!" blurted the patient."You're ... what??" replied the voice, with at least a little incredulity."Naked," replied the patient. "Pretty much. I mean, I've got like a hospital gown on but nothing at all underneath. Look, the point is that I just woke up like a half hour ago in some fucked up white room, with no windows, and just a door with a slot in it. And I found my clothes and my phone just sitting over there on a chair next to the--. Wait." She paused again. "Actually, I'm not sure these are my clothes. And... , maybe this isn't my..." What?" Well, there's this ... pile of clothes on a chair, and I thought they were mine but ... there's no way I could ... I. Well, it really started in high school. You know how it was, Bernie, teenagers trying to learn about sex. So much were just rumors or just plain wrong. Anyway, I was in my dad's workshop looking for a hacksaw for my junior project and stumbled on a box labeled 'Navy'. He was an Ensign in the Navy."She continues, "Along with some Navy memorabilia, there was a stack of porn magazines. One was called Screw and there were others. I learned a lot from those magazines. That's when I found out that girls can have sexual pleasures too. I'd sneak a magazine up to my room and masturbate like crazy." Were you a virgin?" I asked."At first, but later that spring, I was wearing my cheerleader's skirt when my boyfriend pulled down my panties and, well, you know, we had sex." Was it good?" I inquired."I don't remember that it was good, but it was exciting. It got better and better my senior year, especially when I got a new boyfriend, a college guy." Then you went away to college and the.
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